thoughts i dont say out loud

i feel drained. from everything i always do to feel social. i send memes, i try to be more kind, more funny... i turned even into a people pleaser... but i'm invisible like a ghost in a room. it's crazy, because how someone can be invisible even in the internet? i always ask myself, "what's wrong with me?" then i proceed to isolation.

i wish i had friends. especially girl friends.

i love to talk and do girly things. but even doing these things, i don't exist to people.

i feel sad. not more depressed, but empty. sad. i never did anything bad for no one.

and i still alone.

today i'm planning my drawing for the 2nd time. i used to do my drawings without any planning and they always turned out really bad, so now, i'm making notes and searching refs, color palettes and compositions :)

i'm enjoying a lot this process!!!